STRANGEST RIDE
HOME EVER!
Episode 2
(continued from Monday 14th may 2012 blogpost)
Whatever the suspicion, at this point it becomes
imperative that I draw attention to the passengers’ manifest of this “danfo”
bus. For like I Said in my first
episode, therein lies what sparks up the intrigue of this strangest ride home
ever!
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| Lagos "danfo" bus on the move. Picture Courtesy: Google Search |
Without assured confirmation of the chronological order
of how each passenger boarded the bus, the final casting of the passenger list
was made up of five females, nine males and a baby.
As you might have observed, the adults are fourteen as
against the thirteen seats that was the bus’ capacity. Starting from the front, a guy was seated
there with the driver at the wheel. The
front row had three guys, the “staff” inclusive plus the compliment of a lady
who virtually had the most minor role in all of the casting.
The next row had me at the inside end followed by a lady
who before the abrupt stop of the bus was my personal amusement. Let me explain.
From “Sand-field” bus-stop on to a few minutes before the
offensive stop, she was on phone with her supposed husband. And all what she had to say on the phone to
her husband was made a public announcement in the bus. If I was the only one listening, which I believe
I wasn’t because of the fact that the entire bus was quiet except for her, then
it would have qualified as eavesdropping.
But there we were, trying to concentrate on getting home and she was
busy on phone telling whoever was at the other end what her plan for the
evening was. Her plan: “I want to eat
suya!”
If she had said it once, I don’t think it would have
attracted the kind of attention I was paying to the conversation. The quote above became what I should term a
conversational chorus.
“If we follow the third mainland bridge and there is
go-slow, we can stop at that mama’s place and buy suya there. I want to eat
suya. “
“No! I’m telling you that I want to eat suya!”
So, on and on she went, my fellow row passenger that was
very eager to eat “suya.” Need I mention
that suya is our local parlance for roadside commercial barbecue.
Next to her were
two ladies. And no, they were not
occupying the last two seats on the row.
They were both on one seat. For
those of us familiar with this manipulation inside a bus, it is referred to as “lapping.” This can be defined as when a passenger is
seated in a bus in Lagos, Nigeria, and the same person is carrying another
person on his/her legs while occupying just one seat. These two ladies happened to be the owners of
the missing purse!
To make up for the last seat on my row was a guy who
boarded the bus with three other guys who, themselves, were seated on the last
row. These four guys, by measure of my observation,
could be said to be construction workers.
Or how else would you describe a group of men with backpacks heavy enough
to look like they contained tools and they boarded from a bus-stop at Lekki
phase one, the hub of all kinds of both private and non-private construction
works?
The last passenger, another hawker of the concocted gin
mixed with herbs medicinal drinks generally referred to as “Agbo.” She it was who came on board with a baby,
occupying the first seat on the last row from the bus entrance.
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| Hawkers on the streets of Lagos Picuture Courtesy: Lagos photo gallery |
One twist that I should bring to light with the passenger
list spelt out is the fact that before the missing purse was discovered
missing, there was another drama that transpired. This drama was between the driver and the “I want
to eat suya” lady. Sorry to have to describe her like that.
After the mob action that did not yield result, followed
by the no-blow-thrown-brawl, the moment “staff” was going to get a mini bottle
of “Alomo” to soothe his fury that was the same moment “suya” lady started
making frantic agitation to get money from the driver for her to continue with
her journey. This drama nearly culminated into another
brawl, this time involving the driver and another male passenger.
She chased after the driver demanding for money so that
she can take a bike because she could not afford to wait. With every effort from the driver to dodge
her, a counter effort came from the “suya” lady to block his path with her
excuse that she could not wait. And
without any prompting, she would further explain why she could not wait. “My husband is waiting for me.” And as is characteristic of me, in my head, I
helped her supply the unspoken excuse she would have really wanted to give: “I
want to go and eat suya!”
The passenger that exchanged words with the driver did so
as a result of how unfair the driver was to the “suya” lady. But the moment the exchange was about to get
to boiling point, the same “suya” lady walked into their middle to tame the
storm. And that was what it took for the
driver to end up giving her some money after which she hopped unto a bike
calling out for any other person that would care to join her on the bike. This is where the lady with the minor role,
the lady in the front row, played her last in the scheme of things and bade us
farewell along with the “suya” lady.
And so, in the wake of the discovery that a purse full of
money was missing, and the counter suggestions against thoughts that the purse
could have been stolen at the bus-stop where its owner boarded the bus, someone
just had to throw in the accusation that it was most likely that any one
between the “suya” lady or her companion on the bike, could easily be the thief
to have stolen the missing purse!
With that suggestion, behold, there was another round of
the dance of panic from the “Agbo” hawker, owner of the missing purse.
And to think that we have solved the mystery about the
missing purse in this STRANGEST RIDE HOME EVER?
PLEASE MAKE IT A DATE ON FRIDAY 18TH MAY 2012
For previous and the rest of the STRANGEST RIDE HOME
EVER! episodes visit alexzandasopi.blogspot.com
Story by Alex
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